He didn't want to think about the hands. Especially since it wasn't the hands that hurt worst. It was hearing what Andrew had said about them after. Which maybe it hadn't been intended for Spike, but he'd taken it that way anyway.

"Maybe not immediately. But I intended to, didn't I? Then I hear from Angel that you decided we weren't trustworthy anymore. That we'd gone all dark working for the enemy. Couldn't bloody well just catch a plane to Europe and apologize after that. Wouldn't be fitting, seeing as I'd done the heroic sacrifice a bit. A reunion after all that deserved more. But I did go looking for you in Rome. Was going to save you myself and prove I was on your side again. Would have managed it perfectly if Angel hadn't bungled it up like he always does."